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Posts Tagged ‘Real American’

What kind of a masochistic hot dog pours condiments on himself?

What kind of a masochistic hot dog pours condiments on himself?

I’ve been a bad blogger.

Typically this means I’ve been good at the rest of my marketing responsibilities—visiting various parts of the world, working trade shows, keeping up with customers, farting around on our Twitter—but if there’s one thing that pulls me back to blogging, it’s seeing what environmental abomination has come around to blight another holiday (I still shudder over tofurkey).

Last July 4th, it was environmentally friendly fireworks and safer armor-piercing bullets, but this year, it seems like the fun is gone. Maybe it’s that there are genuine concerns—like air pollution, setting your neighbor’s lawn on fire (more fun when you’re the irresponsible kid rather than the neighbor, FYI), and triggering PTSD—but recent searches for a green Fourth of July turned up the same ol’ approaches—using some bad pun about being red, white, and blue AND green. Bleh.

At most, I’ve found dull articles on making vegan snacks. No thanks. I’m going to stick with being slightly appalled when I can’t figure out the mystery meat texture of the fifth hot dog I eat today.

Because America. That’s why.

So I’m going to have to resort to old safeties: patriotic songs from 80s wrestlers (why somebody thought it’d be a good idea to screech “America” for the last minute of this song I’ll never know):

Have a great Independence Day, all. Be safe; pursue life, liberty, and happiness.

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Colin McKay Miller is the VP of Marketing for the SpiroFlo Holdings group of companies:

SpiroFlo for residential hot water savings (delivered 35% faster with up to a 5% volume savings on every hot water outlet in the home), industrial water purification (biofilm removal), and reduced water pumping costs.

Vortex Tools for extending the life of oil and gas wells (recovering up to 10 times more NGLs, reducing flowback startup times, replacing VRUs, eliminating paraffin and freezing in winter, etc.).

Ecotech for cost-effective non-thermal drying (for biosolids, sugar beets, dairy waste, etc.) and safe movement of materials (including potash and soda ash).

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