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Archive for July, 2014

Vortex Tools covers the growing subculture of diesel trucks modified to produce excess amounts of exhaust soot.

When it comes to jerk drivers, there are many variations of “that person”:

  • The aggressive motorcyclist leaning in and out of lanes, wearing a tank top, shorts, and of course, no helmet. One slip and he’ll be scraping road rash out of his eyes.
  • The multi-tasking, rush-hour commuter putting on makeup, smoking, and chatting on the phone, yet who still magically has a hand free to flip you off when she veers into your lane.
  • The giant truck driver on your grill no matter how fast you’re going.
  • The androgynous elderly person driving 20 under in the fast lane.

All those people could just be having a bad day (even if they feel far too common), but the coal rolling subculture is an intentional move to be “that person” every day. I first encountered a rolling coal truck about a year back. I thought it was a lame novelty, but apparently it’s a growing trend.

The Huffington Post notes that coal rollers are spending a lot of time and thousands of dollars to modify their trucks with several components to increase the fuel going into their engines. By doing so, these engines don’t combust properly, and you get large amounts of soot.

Several of these coal rollers take great joy in blowing this black smoke at Priuses and pedestrians:

I’ve made no secret of my dislike of Captain Planet. Part of the reason is that I believe very few people are anti-environment and that the show seemed to unfairly skew people into roles of the heroic and the villainous. In the past I’ve noted:

One of the many problems was that none of the villains on the show made any sense. Besides getting saddled with awful names like Sly Sludge, Looten Plunder and Tank Flusher III (real creative, guys), these eco-villains didn’t just show indifference to the environment, they specifically enjoyed dumping toxic waste in the ocean and misusing nuclear missiles. You know, the kind of hobbies any kid might get himself into if not redeemed by choppy 90s animation.

Most political groups cheat a bit when labeling themselves pro-anything. I mean, who’s anti-life, anti-choice, or anti-environment? Well apparently, the rolling coal crowd is at least largely anti-environmentalist:

“I run into a lot of people that really don’t like Obama at all,” an unnamed Wisconsin seller of smoke stack kits told Slate’s David Weigel, explaining some of the rationale behind the movement. “If he’s into the environment, if he’s into this or that, we’re not. I hear a lot of that. To get a single stack on my truck—that’s my way of giving them the finger. You want clean air and a tiny carbon footprint? Well, screw you.”

Yeah! You tell ‘em! Take that, completely reasonable health standards!

Wait, what?

Bear in mind, this crowd isn’t just anti-environmentalist, they seem to take great pleasure in blowing soot all over people—themselves included. They seem to be quite terrible on a number of fronts.

At this point, my stance is fairly straightforward: You can modify your truck like that, but only if you use that smoke stack as your daily enema.

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Colin McKay Miller is the VP of Marketing for the SpiroFlo Holdings group of companies:

SpiroFlo for residential hot water savings (delivered 35% faster with up to a 5% volume savings on every hot water outlet in the home), industrial water purification (biofilm removal), and reduced water pumping costs.

Vortex Tools for extending the life of oil and gas wells (recovering up to 10 times more NGLs, reducing flowback startup times, replacing VRUs, eliminating paraffin and freezing in winter, etc.).

Ecotech for cost-effective non-thermal drying (for biosolids, sugar beets, dairy waste, etc.) and safe movement of materials (including potash and soda ash).

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What kind of a masochistic hot dog pours condiments on himself?

What kind of a masochistic hot dog pours condiments on himself?

I’ve been a bad blogger.

Typically this means I’ve been good at the rest of my marketing responsibilities—visiting various parts of the world, working trade shows, keeping up with customers, farting around on our Twitter—but if there’s one thing that pulls me back to blogging, it’s seeing what environmental abomination has come around to blight another holiday (I still shudder over tofurkey).

Last July 4th, it was environmentally friendly fireworks and safer armor-piercing bullets, but this year, it seems like the fun is gone. Maybe it’s that there are genuine concerns—like air pollution, setting your neighbor’s lawn on fire (more fun when you’re the irresponsible kid rather than the neighbor, FYI), and triggering PTSD—but recent searches for a green Fourth of July turned up the same ol’ approaches—using some bad pun about being red, white, and blue AND green. Bleh.

At most, I’ve found dull articles on making vegan snacks. No thanks. I’m going to stick with being slightly appalled when I can’t figure out the mystery meat texture of the fifth hot dog I eat today.

Because America. That’s why.

So I’m going to have to resort to old safeties: patriotic songs from 80s wrestlers (why somebody thought it’d be a good idea to screech “America” for the last minute of this song I’ll never know):

Have a great Independence Day, all. Be safe; pursue life, liberty, and happiness.

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Colin McKay Miller is the VP of Marketing for the SpiroFlo Holdings group of companies:

SpiroFlo for residential hot water savings (delivered 35% faster with up to a 5% volume savings on every hot water outlet in the home), industrial water purification (biofilm removal), and reduced water pumping costs.

Vortex Tools for extending the life of oil and gas wells (recovering up to 10 times more NGLs, reducing flowback startup times, replacing VRUs, eliminating paraffin and freezing in winter, etc.).

Ecotech for cost-effective non-thermal drying (for biosolids, sugar beets, dairy waste, etc.) and safe movement of materials (including potash and soda ash).

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